A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. -Oscar Wilde

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Because I clearly haven't been through enough lately, and because all politicians are at their core about as mature as your average two year old, there appears to be a pretty good chance that I'm going to be furloughed. Which, you know, after dropping cash like a madwoman on all of the incidentals that two deaths and funerals in a row seem to bring and with gas jumping to new heights and the work my car needs (let's pray I don't need a whole transmission), I could really go for a furlough.Budget passed! Crisis averted! But it's okay. I'm a federal employee. As the incredibly well-informed individuals who comment on internet news stories know, I'm an uneducated slob paid astronomical sums of money to sit my drooling ass in a vibromassaging chair all day while plotting new and exciting ways to waste tax dollars and be nasty to tax payers. Oh, and I don't pay taxes either.

Hm. My sense of sarcasm is starting to return. A little? I guess that's... good? Sort of? I think that it's because anger is an easier emotional transition. I don't know. My sense of humor is still decidedly missing. I kind of don't want it to be back though, because in a weird way I don't want to feel normal again, because there is nothing that will ever be normal again and, if things become "normal" again it means that my brother is consigned to the past. And that is just opening another world of pain.

Bizarre sign that I miss my brother of the day: I actually left Ken Burns's Civil War on for a while tonight. It's just soooooo painfully boring to me, but I actually watched it for an hour and imagined Nick nitpicking the shit out of it. Sure beats the email from the blood bank asking my opinion about how to best handle Nick's image in their advertising campaign. That one left me a sobby mess in the restroom at work for a while-- on top of dropping the freshly baked coffee cake on my kitchen floor, should pretty much illustrate what a crappy morning it was. Sadly, it didn't get much better from there and then my plans got canceled on me. On the plus side? A quiet evening at home with FatCat and a good book is about the best way my evening could have turned out.

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