Dear Ben,

At worst, you're a creep and a monster. At best, you're painfully stupid and naive. Neither of these are qualities I like to see in quarterbacks, regardless of their rings. Get your shit together, because I'm kind of hoping for another "incident" with your bike at the moment. There are plenty of quarterbacks in the sea.

p.s. it looks like you're taking "off-season" a little too literally there in those pictures. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

-la j.c.