the waiting game

Our crazy ass rain/ wind broke off all of my little lemon tree's new growth last night. Boo hiss!

It seems that every time I graduate, it's unbearably hot, humid, and usually raining. Yesterday I had all three. Actually, yesterday was a pretty craptacular day all around. There was barely lukewarm water for my shower. I grabbed a hot curling iron by the barrel. My umbrella broke, so I got soaked running to Jeepzilla (thus undoing the effort I put into my hair and makeup and twisting my ankle). My gown got caught on the door and tore in two place, so I jury-rigged a fix that left my gown hanging oddly. And so on. But, it's over, I graduated, and now...

I wait.

And wait.

I feel so purposeless. This morning, I woke up at six (to start the dance of hitting the snooze button repeatedly), but.. for what? No work or classes, no more essay to revise YET AGAIN, nothing. True, my apartment is still noxious, but otherwise? I feel so adrift. My grand plans for this week include cleaning, paying off my library fine (though technically it should have been forgiven from the Big Snow, I'll pretend it's a donation), and turning over my parents' garden in a belated start. That's about it. I suppose this is my mental recovery time, so I can try to recover from the trauma that this semester inflicted. I am tired, and I look like crap because I haven't had any time to take care of myself. But, gah. Inactivity like this doesn't suit me. It makes me lazy and careless.